THE SLIPPERY SLOPE TOWARDS

NORMALITY

I remedied the problems of being an eccentric

child by practising until perfect the knack

of acquiring a high-status layer of filth.

The best place to do this was at the brook

near the Methodist cricket pitch. From the boundary

there sloped the Rocky Mountains, the Alps,

and the Himalayas down to our sometime dam,

which we busted every time it was rebuilt.

This slope had no grass on it. There, after rain

an expert could slide upon backside until clay became

his second skin. The water below easily impregnated

any shoe and when dammed would wash over the top

of wellies, leaving small worms and a smell

which not only mothers could detect. Perfect.